WHY?

WHY?

 

This past season of Lent, I felt led to observe Lent for the first time in 49 years.  I have not observed Lent since I was last a Catholic and I believe the last time I observed Lent was in 1967, 49 years ago.  In about 1968, I left the Catholic Church in response to a conversion experience that included observation of the Sabbath on Saturday, the 7^th day of the week, and my developing beliefs in the Christ-centered ethics of peace and nonviolence, which were not at that time generally supported in Roman Catholicism, although there were a few cells of peace and nonviolence in Catholicism in the presence of Thomas Merton, Dorothy Day and the Catholic Worker movement and the Jesuit Pacifist, Daniel Berrigan who just died this past week at the age of 94, a few days shy of 95 years old.  Also in France was at that time Pax Christi, which was not established in the United States until the 1970’s.

I don’t know why, exactly, that I felt I should observe Lent this year, and I surprised even myself in that I received an inner urge to return to the Catholic Church of my youth.  Why?  I don’t know why, but here are some ways and thoughts I would like to share.  I would view these as possible influences that led to the calling I received and I also leave all possibilities in the future open.  I list some possible reasons below; but I do not feel reason is the defining factor here, so I will change the term and answer to Why, concerning responses and possibilities, not reasons.

Possibly it was Pope Francis who has spoken to my heart and my way of belief and thinking since he first became Pope.  I love the man and his leadership.

Possibly it had something to do with long term relationships I have with Catholic friends like Fran Viselli, Nancy Green, and others.

Possibly it had something to do with the late life crisis of bankruptcy I have gone through and my research into St. Ignatius decision making.

Possibly it had something to do with Sr. Madeleine Gregg and her agreeing to become my Spiritual Director in leading me and a small group in taking the St. Ignatius Spiritual Exercises, 19^th Annotation.

Possibly it had to do with a call from Christ the King, (The call of Christ the King is a section of the Exercises.), to write a book, “My Ignatius Journey”, about the exercises.

Possibly, even though it has been over a year since I took the Spiritual Exercises, it was a yearning for a deeper, different, and more mystical Spirituality which some find in the Catholic Church.

Possibly it was my concern for the refugee crisis and that the Interfaith Prayer service, “Just One”, which I wrote, was not accepted in Tuscaloosa and that my heart aches for something to be done regarding this matter on a grander scale.

Possibly it was all the transitions happening in my life and in the lives of others I know.

Possibly it had to do with a sermon Ben Tallmadge gave at Grace Church regarding the philosophy of Grace Church. I know this matter is not about doctrine, or about my not loving everyone, because I still do, but my philosophy of this Church stuff is more amenable to the Social Gospel ideals the Catholic Church “Just” seems to me much better at.

Possibly my work was just done at Grace Church, where I have attended for 10 years.  I think I am just too radical to do much good there.  I am not guaranteed 10 more years… The Magis, I began to understand and inwardly feel in the St. Igntian Spiritual Exercises urge me to do “more.”

Possibly my voice for peace and nonviolence will be heard in the Catholic community.  After all, at least Catholics pray for peace nearly every week in the Mass.

However, I think the real answer to the question “Why” is this………

I do not know why!

Possibly, faith walking in the dark where it sees the best will bump upon the reason, then we will all know ……..

‘WHY’

 

John Cooper